The 80/20 Rule of Sleep Training: Why You Don’t Have to Start Over Every Time
Whether you’ve already sleep trained or you’re just considering it, one thing most parents have in common is this: you’ve heard the stories.
"We had to re-train every time she got sick."
"We went away for a weekend and it all fell apart."
"Teething ruined everything."
When families need to re-sleep train, it’s rarely because of a day or two off track. More often, it's because the old habits have crept back in for a week—or longer—and that becomes the new normal for their baby.
I’m here to tell you — that’s not the case for the vast majority of families. You don’t have to start from scratch every time life throws you a curveball. The key is knowing when to stick to the plan, and when to flex. That’s where the 80/20 rule comes in.
It’s not about perfection, but consistency really does matter. The good news? You’ve done it before, and you can absolutely get back on track again.
What the 80/20 Rule Really Means for Sleep
The truth is, if you follow your sleep plan about 80% of the time, the other 20% — the off days, travel, teething, skipped naps — won’t undo your progress.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about consistency most of the time. When sleep isn't going well and we’re trying to correct things, yes — we need to stay consistent to truly see what’s working. But once sleep becomes more predictable, you can absolutely build in some flexibility.
In fact, we often do this together — trying a nap on the go, a night at Grandma’s, or a vacation out of town. These little detours are expected and manageable when the foundation is strong.
So stick to your plan when you can. And when life happens? Flex, recover, and keep moving forward. That’s the real 80/20 approach to sleep.
Why Consistency Matters At First
When we’re actively sleep training or troubleshooting, consistency is critical. It helps us clearly identify what’s working — and what’s not. Without it, we can’t pinpoint whether the issue is how your child falls asleep, how they return to sleep, whether their schedule is off, or if they're not getting enough daytime calories.
But once sleep becomes more predictable, we can safely trial some flexibility and see how it impacts sleep. Then we tweak to find the right balance. Balance is going to be different for everyone but there are a few tips that can help all of us.
A Few Key 80/20 Tips
Here’s how to apply the 80/20 rule in real life:
🍼 Stick to your sleep plan most of the time — flex when you need to
Don’t sweat the occasional nap on the go or a later bedtime for something special. Life happens and you shouldn’t miss out.
🛌 Naps on the go? Totally fine — just adjust accordingly
Motion naps aren’t as restorative, but they’re absolutely useful—especially when you’re out longer than your baby’s wake window or need to squeeze in an extra nap to make it to bedtime.
Just keep in mind: after a motion nap, your baby may need a shorter wake window or an earlier bedtime to help them catch up.
And even on the busiest days, try not to rush the bedtime routine—they still need that wind-down time to settle properly for the night.
🏡 New environment? Orient them before sleep
Set up the sleep space first (make sure to bring their sleep sack, sound machine and loveys!), then offer a feed, cuddle time, a diaper change or low-key play — this helps them settle better.
🚫 Don’t panic if night one in a new place is bumpy
This is normal. Avoid jumping in with sleep associations you’ve already phased out. Stay the course — most kids bounce back quickly and you’ll see a much better night two.
Final Thought
You didn’t do all this work just to be trapped by it. Sleep training is about building skills — and once those skills are solid, your child will be far more adaptable than you think.
So remember: progress, not perfection.
Follow the plan most of the time. Flex when you need to.
And trust that your child’s sleep can remain strong — even when life gets messy.
Author: Andria Gordon
Andria Gordon is the Founder of Have Baby. Must Sleep., a leading child sleep consulting agency. As a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, she has helped over 2,000 families get the rest they need. She regularly speaks to parent groups, daycares, and preschools, and her work has been featured on Global News Canada.
Andria co-founded a certification course focused on Children’s Sleep and Medical Conditions, and is a proud member of several professional associations. A former senior ad executive, she’s known for providing warm, high-touch support to every family she serves.
Follow her on Instagram @havebabymustsleep for sleep tips and expert insights.
About Have Baby. Must Sleep.
Have Baby. Must Sleep. is a leading pediatric sleep consultancy supporting families with children ages 0 to 5. The team specializes in high-touch, fully customized sleep coaching designed to fit each family's unique lifestyle and values.
Founded and run by a mom who know firsthand the toll of sleepless nights, Have Baby. Must Sleep. offers compassionate, expert-led support that goes beyond one-size-fits-all advice. With over 2000 families helped and a sole focus on pediatric sleep, the team brings deep knowledge, proven methods, and a commitment to getting families the rest they need and deserve.
Learn more at www.havebabymustsleep.com.
