How To Be Kind to Your Postpartum Body
Our bodies change in so many ways throughout pregnancy and in the postpartum period. They grow bigger and softer, they stretch and ache. Your body almost doesn’t feel like your own.
In fact, you’ve actually been sharing it for 40ish weeks—and depending on your feeding journey, you may be sharing it for much longer. It’s no wonder over 50% of women report negative views of their bodies after giving birth. Change is hard, especially when you have little control, and especially when those changes are perceived negatively by society.
Rethinking “Acceptance”
There’s a lot of talk about accepting your postpartum body. As a mom and a clinician, I struggle with the word accept.
To me, it feels very final. As if we are to accept that this is the way it is and we have to learn how to deal with it, almost begrudgingly.
Just as your body changed for nine months, it will continue to change postpartum. Your body is ever-changing. This is not your final form. Just as you don’t look like you did when you were 20 (or if you do, please tell us your secrets!), you will not look this way forever.
Instead, let’s consider how to be kind to your postpartum body—and how to appreciate this chapter of life you are in.
Acknowledge That These Changes Are Normal and Good
You will look like you had a baby, because you did.
You’ve been through nine months of incredible change. You’ve performed a miracle and grown a human being. This is not a bad thing.
We need to reprogram our brains from the myths that media feeds us. The idea that you need to “bounce back,” and that if you don’t, you’re not normal, is simply untrue. Everyone’s body is different, and all bodies will change in some way postpartum.
You are not meant to return to the way you were before. Your body is different now, and you, as a person, are different as well. You are going through a transformation—physically and mentally.
Show Yourself Compassion and Gratitude
You’ve been through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. That is a lot. Now you’re recovering and caring for a newborn (maybe even older children too). You and your body are doing so much.
Let’s show your body some gratitude:
Thank you, body, for carrying me through the day.
Thank you for growing this beautiful human.
Thank you for continuing to provide comfort to my child.
If you find yourself being critical of your body, pause and offer yourself the same kindness you would extend to a friend. You are allowed to take up more space. Your size does not change your value.
Move in a Way That Feels Good
Exercise can be a powerful tool for mental health. Move your body in a way that brings you joy, not punishment. Walking, stretching, dancing, or building strength slowly—it all counts. Tune into what feels good, not what you think you should be doing.
Fuel Yourself With Nourishing Foods
Your body needs nourishment after pregnancy and birth. Aim for food that gives you energy and makes you feel good. And yes, enjoy all food. There are no “bad” foods. Everything has a purpose—whether that’s nourishment, comfort, celebration, or simply pleasure.
Buy Clothes That Fit
Seriously. Buy the clothes. You deserve to feel good in what you wear. You do not need to wait for a certain body to give yourself permission to dress with confidence and comfort.
Notice When You Feel Good
Did you put on a cute, comfy matching sweatsuit today? Brush your hair? Wear mascara?
Whatever your thing is—do it more often. These little acts of care can help you reconnect with yourself.
Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
If weighing yourself, analyzing your reflection, or scrolling Instagram makes you feel worse—step away.
You don’t need to participate in any practice that chips away at your self-worth. Protect your peace wherever you can.
Make the Memories
Take the photos. Put on the bathing suit. Say yes to the plans. Be in the frame.
People will remember that you were there and how you made them feel. And you’ll look back, years from now, with love and compassion for this version of you—even if you don’t see it clearly now.
Remember how often we look at old photos and wish we looked like that again, even though we were so critical at the time?
Let this version of you live with more kindness than regret.
Final Thoughts
Instead of “accepting” your postpartum body, try accepting that this is where you are right now.
This is the phase you’re in. You are meant to be here. It’s normal to feel strange in your body, and even in your new role as a parent.
You’re allowed to want things to be different and be kind to yourself at the same time.
Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. Give yourself compassion.
This is not your final destination—it’s just one moment on your journey.
When to Reach Out
If these thoughts feel too heavy to navigate on your own, please ask for help. Your feelings about your body may be shaped by birth trauma, pregnancy or infant loss, or disordered eating.
You are not alone—and support is here if you need it.
Author: Sarah Goodman, RSW, MSW, PMH-C
Sarah is a certified Perinatal Mental Health Therapist through Postpartum Support International, a member of Have Baby. Must Sleep., and the founder of Eva Wellness. Drawing from her own fertility and postpartum challenges, she takes a holistic, compassionate approach to supporting women through mood and anxiety disorders, the transition to motherhood, fertility journeys, grief, and complex relationships.
You can follow me on Instagram @eva.mentalhealth for more tips & advice.
About Have Baby. Must Sleep.
Have Baby. Must Sleep. is a leading pediatric sleep consultancy supporting families with children ages 0 to 5. The team specializes in high-touch, fully customized sleep coaching designed to fit each family's unique lifestyle and values.
Founded and run by a mom who know firsthand the toll of sleepless nights, Have Baby. Must Sleep. offers compassionate, expert-led support that goes beyond one-size-fits-all advice. With over 2000 families helped and a sole focus on pediatric sleep, the team brings deep knowledge, proven methods, and a commitment to getting families the rest they need and deserve.
Learn more at www.havebabymustsleep.com.
